A Double Edged Sword

Ever since I moved to the US in March last year, my life has gone through a lot of changes.

Being alone and at home everyday is a far cry from my life as a sportswriter before because I have to guard the house while my mother and sister are at work.

Finding work here has been a struggle because jobs are limited owing to the fact that we live in a rural area which is 30-40 minutes away from big cities like San Francisco and Oakland.

A lot of stores and other businesses here in our area in California are starting to close down due to declining sales resulting from many people resorting to online shopping.

And whenever my mother is at home, I help her with the household chores because she is already 70 years old and she's preparing me for my future.

Right now, life in the United States has become a problem especially here in California where there are a lot of homeless people on the streets while other immigrants like me aren't as lucky.

You see, my mother had to work on my petition to bring me here in California after she and my sister have been living here for the past 30 years. My petition was approved in December 2015, barely close to a year before Donald Trump was elected president.

My mother didn't vote for Trump in the elections and obviously, she had no regrets in her decision because under this administration, getting a green card would have been more difficult.

My sister also tells me that life here in California is much safer compared to my life living with my mother's relatives in Pasig City due to the extra judicial killings under President Rodrigo Duterte's government.

Many Filipinos are also concerned with the devaluation of the peso and many businesses like the Inquirer and Mile Long now being taken over by people close to the administration.

In terms of our family, my mother has long distanced herself from her brothers and sisters back in Manila who keep on asking money from her. She herself told me that she will never come back to Manila to live with my other uncles and aunts.

In fact, when one of my uncles died last year, we didn't come back home for the funeral because the damage in my mother's family is totally beyond repair.

One of my cousins has been blind due to diabetes while another cousin of mine who works now for a casino in Pasay isn't in good terms with her parents either.

It does feel lonely and homesick for me to miss my active life as a mediaman back in Manila but it's the sacrifice I have to make as my mom isn't getting any younger anymore and her African-American husband died. As a result, I never got to see the stepfather who loved my mother so much when he was still alive.

In a way, I still feel blessed to be with my mother and sister here in California after I saw the news on TV about a Mexican family forced to fly back to their home country and leave two daughters behind because of Trump's immigration policies that are so vague that even those who have clean criminal records aren't spared.

Living in another country takes years to get adjusted and a lot of prayers to get through all these problems. Right now, it's a tough transition for me and it will take probably until both the US and Philippines have a new government before things can get better.

Too bad, Americans have three more years of Trump while Filipinos have five more years of Duterte. Such is the sad reality of politics and life.

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